


Bandages

by Stigitsune_shipper



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awesome Nagachika Hideyoshi, CCG Nagachika Hideyoshi, Fluff, Ghoul Kaneki Ken, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, If You Squint - Freeform, Kaneki Ken Is Alive, Kaneki needs to wake up, M/M, One Shot, POV Kaneki Ken, Post-Anteiku Raid Arc (Tokyo Ghoul), hidekane, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 06:34:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18360593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stigitsune_shipper/pseuds/Stigitsune_shipper
Summary: Kaneki had managed to save Hide after the Anteiku Raid. He hadn't seen any of his friends in months, and yet, they had dragged him to Yomo's house.Now he's really not sure how to feel about this. After all, they all hate him, right?





	Bandages

Kaneki Ken couldn’t even muster a smile.

And he tried so hard. He tried so hard to be good. To not make Hide worry. Because, after everything that had happened, Hide deserved happiness. And Kaneki’s crumpling self-esteem wouldn’t bring that to him.

He hoped Hide – his best friend, his sun, his everything – didn’t notice. He looked so happy right now. Kaneki didn’t want to dampen his mood.

But Hide was Hide, so of course he noticed. Kaneki knew right from the moment the blond sent him a questioning look. Fortunately, he didn’t say anything. Instead he turned to Hinami, who was currently happily chatting away about her pet parrot.

Apparently, the little bird was still alive and well. Hinami now spent most of her time with it.

Kaneki smiled as he noted her enthusiasm and pushed a stray strand of snow white hair behind his ear.

He still didn’t know what to make of any of this. The CCG had just raided Anteiku. He had badly injured that Dove – Amon. He had almost killed Hide. The café had burned down.

And yet they still wanted him here. Even though Hide was bedridden because of him. Even though CCG wouldn’t have found them, if it wasn’t for him. Even though he only hurt them.

They still dragged him here, to Yomo’s house, the only safe space they had left.

He didn’t understand.

“BaKaneki,” Said the blond gently.

Kaneki snapped his head to him, feeling his cheeks getting warm. “What?”

The nickname was old. Hide used to use it all the time when… before… and then Touka picked up on it as well.

Hide sent him a small smile, the bandages reaching just under his lips. “Are you okay, dude? You seemed a bit off.”

Ken only now noticed Hinami and Touka had started to argue about the parrot, pointing Yomo’s, Irima’s and Koma’s attention away from them.

Hide’s voice was quiet, rough and scratchy. It was just one of the hundred reminders of what Kaneki had done.

But he was not going to dampen his best-friend’s mood any longer. “It’s alright. Just have a lot on my mind…” he scratched his chin and nodded to Touka, “I’m surprised she hadn’t thrown Hinami’s bird away. Didn’t even know she still had it…”

Hide carefully shifted in his half-sitting, half-laying position. “You were gone for more than three months, ‘Neki. Where were you?”

The ghoul swallowed. “Just… away.”

What would Hide think? What would Hide think if he knew what Kaneki did? What would he think about him, if he knew Kaneki became a Kakuja? It was too dangerous. He couldn’t know. No.

“How descriptive.” Came the sarcastic remark.

Kaneki looked at his friend in alarm.

Hide continued. “I mean; I deserve at least something. You have basically ignored me most of the time you still worked in Anteiku, then you disappear and all I hear about you is that you’ve joined the Aogiri Tree. And now, when I finally see you again, your hair’s white, you’re doing you Kaneki-panicking-face again and you won’t even talk to me. God, ‘Neki, we haven’t seen each other in months, did you really not even miss me?”

“What? Hide, no- “

“’Cause I did, you know? I was really worried about you. I knew about you being ghoul ever since Nishiki tried to beat the hell out of you, but I gave you time. I thought you’d tell me. But no, you had to be Mr. I’m-a-terrible-monster, and wallow in your self-hate, so you didn’t tell me anything. And then you went missing, and I had no idea what was going on, ‘cause nobody really tells you anything when you’re human.

“I put posters up, Kaneki. Posters! I looked for you everywhere! I even tried to sell some human meat to ghouls to find your whereabouts. And yeah, in the end I joined the fucking CCG, to get at least some kind of inner view on things.

“And what do I discover? That you’ve been qualified as an SS-rated ghoul, you’re eating _other ghouls_ and everybody thinks you’re crazy!”

By now, all of the others were staring at Hide. Kaneki felt himself edging away, trying to become as small as possible.

“And now we’re here, I’ve finally found you, we’ve got out and even though you _do_ have quite a lot of stuff to tell me, you say you’ve been ‘away’. Away. How great.”

Hide turned away and started to cough.

Kaneki had never seen Hide rant so much. Or be this angry.

His words cut like knives. It was true. He’d been a horrible friend. He became such a monster… of course Hide was angry.

But wait. Kaneki thought about what his friend had said again and realized Hide wasn’t angry because Kaneki was a ghoul. No, he knew. He had known for so long and yet he wasn’t disgusted by him. Hide was angry, because Kaneki didn’t try to contact him or talk with him.

He was angry, because Kaneki had been avoiding Hide in fear of his friend loathing him.

The realization made him stumble a bit. “I-I’m sorry. Hide I just… I didn’t want you to get hurt, because of me.”

The blond scoffed. “You and your ‘I don’t want people to get hurt because of me’. Get over yourself, ‘Neki, you’re not that important to critically jeopardize our lives.”

Touka joined. “Yeah. Trust me, they would have found us eventually even without your influence. Hide’s right, you need to stop. He knows you’re a ghoul, he knows it about all of us, and he’s okay with it. And even after all of the things you did, none of us, are running away. The only one hating you in this room, is yourself.”

The room went quiet. Kaneki opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

That wasn’t true. He was pretty sure all of them couldn’t stand him. But-but if what they said was true… then… but he didn’t _hate_ himself. Sure, he knew he was far from loving himself but… but…

But he had messed up so many times he _had_ to compensate somehow. Touka and Hide were telling him, that it wasn’t his fault, but it _was._ And now he was making it all about himself. Why did he have to be so fucking self-centered?

It wasn’t about him. Other people were a lot more important.

He hung his head. “I’m sorry.”

Hide sighed. Then he spread his arms. “Come here, so I can hug you.”

Kaneki complied. Hide’s hugs always made him happy, but now they struck him with yet another wave of guilt. Hide couldn’t even move from the bed, because of what he had done to him. And Kaneki certainly didn’t deserve this.

But Hide still hugged him and patted his back. “Kaneki, what I’m trying to say this entire time, is that even thought a lot of crazy stuff has happened, none of it was your fault, okay? And we all love you and want you back. So stop blaming yourself, ‘kay?”

The half Ghoul looked up. Hide’s eyes were sincere and looking at him with such warmness, it made Kaneki feel at least a bit hopeful.

Sadly, he really couldn’t see the logic behind Hide’s words.

“But I-“ he started, only to be interrupted by Hide’s finger on his lips.

“Shush. You did what you could. And you did what you thought was right. Is it really that hard to believe we like you, ‘Neki? Because if it is, then I’m the worst best-friend ever.”

“You’re not. Hide, you’re the _best_ friend I could have ever asked for. I just… Does this mean you forgive me?”

He didn’t want to get his hopes up.

But Hide let out a disbelieving laugh. “Dude, of _course_ I forgive you. I mean, there’s almost nothing to forgive, really. It wasn’t your fault that…” he pointed to his bandaged face, “this happened. I let you do it. So… even if I’m probably gonna look pretty ugly, you shouldn’t blame yourself.”

Kaneki was, yet again, hit with the sudden realization of just how kind and _nice_ Hide was. Kaneki had destroyed his neck, part of his face around his left cheek and part of his vocal chords forever, and yet, Hide felt that it was okay.

He looked straight into the clear coffee-colored pools of Hide’s eyes. “You could never look ugly, Hide.”

The blond shifted, a soft smile lighting up his cheeks. “Thanks ‘Neki. But that isn’t important. Did you get it in that thick head of yours, that you’re welcomed here? Or will you disappear again?”

Kaneki looked back at Touka with her crossed arms, Yomo with his serious and yet gentle expression, Komo’s and Irimi’s lifted eyebrows, and at Hinami’s hopeful eyes.

This was Anteiku. This was his family. And even after all he has done… they wanted him back.

And maybe… maybe he _wasn’t_ as much of a monster as he had thought he was, if Hide accepted him so easily.

He looked back into Hide’s awaiting eyes. And nodded. “I guess it did. And… if you don’t mind… I would like to stay.”

Hide’s lips pulled up in a huge smile, revealing his bright white teeth. And Kaneki was soon smiling as well.

Hide took his hand and gently squeezed it. Kaneki looked back at his friends, and the happiness shining in their faces made his heart swell.

A huge part of him still couldn’t make itself belief, that those people liked him. That they wanted him. That he wasn’t despicable in every way.

But with Hide’s smiles and Touka’s rolling eyes, that part of him, that let himself hope, was starting to grow.

He looked back at Hide. His gaze held happiness and a promise of something better.

And as Kaneki interweaved their fingers together, he started to believe, that he may actually find it.

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, guys, I don't even know.  
> The whole Hidekane is up for speculations. I ship them and intended them to be together, but in this fanfic, it relies heavily on your perspective. Still, aren't they just cute? :3  
> I'm not a native speaker, so I'm sorry for any mistakes :)  
> This is my 1st dab into the Tokyo Ghoul fanfictions, I am planning on writing more from this fandom, but some time later :)  
> I hope you liked this little nothingness.  
> Sti


End file.
